Words Spoken in Secret

My Friends

This past week, I had phone conversations with two incredible women who are suffering deeply. As they shared their stories, my heart was heavy. It was not because of obvious enemies or public conflict, but because of quiet conversations, whispered words, and gossip that slowly caused real harm.

It reminded me how easily our flesh is drawn toward what is sinful. Gossip often feels “harmless,” even caring at first, but it enters the mind like poison. Quietly, without us realizing it, it reshapes our hearts, our words, and even the way we see and treat others.

God’s Word is loving, but very clear. “Do not be deceived: bad company corrupts good character.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)

Gossip is not entertainment. It is spiritual decay. It fuels suspicion, stirs division, provokes arguments, and spreads slander. Scripture also warns us about those who thrive on controversy, even wrapping it in religious language for attention or gain.

“If anyone teaches false doctrine and does not agree with the sound teaching of our Lord Jesus Christ, he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies, which produce envy, strife, slander, evil suspicions, imagining that godliness is a means to financial gain.” (1 Timothy 6:3–5)

There is an old piece of wisdom that is still true today. If someone is comfortable talking to you about someone else, they will eventually talk about you to others. Gossip never stops with one person. Over time, it gathers momentum and eventually turns into targeting. Believe me.

And when so called anonymous complaints always seem to come through the same person or the same small group, pause and ask a wise question. Why do others feel so comfortable bringing accusations to this person? Often, it is because that person has become the collector, the hub, the one who listens, affirms, repeats, and spreads. Gossip has a way of crowning a king.

Gossip stops at the ears of the wise and Godly. A mature believer does not entertain it. They gently redirect it. Their posture is simple and Christ honoring. Talk to me, not about me.

So, in the name of Jesus, protect your mind. If we fill our hearts with garbage, garbage will come out. But when we fill our minds with the Word, life flows out.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23)

Choose what builds you up.

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)

And friends, this is where discernment matters deeply. People who truly have a heart for God do not feel the need to constantly promote how faithful they are, how much they sacrifice, or how deeply they love people. A heart that genuinely follows the Lord is not focused on me, me, me. It is eager to point to the One who alone deserves all the glory.

Jesus reminds us, “Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:16) We are to give glory to God, not to ourselves.

When conversations begin with long explanations of personal sacrifice, such as because I do this, because I gave that, I could be doing something else, or how good and humble I am, discernment should gently rise. Faithfulness does not need a spotlight. Love does not need a microphone. True believers do not defend themselves with speeches. Their fruit speaks quietly and consistently.

“Let another praise you, and not your own mouth.” (Proverbs 27:2)

When Christ is truly at the center, He is exalted. The platform, the personality, and the performance fade away. That is where lives are truly transformed.

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30)

May we be people who guard our hearts, close our ears to gossip, speak truth in love, walk humbly, and keep our eyes fixed on Jesus. He is the only One worthy of all our honor, glory, and praise.

Love,

Andrea Anderegg