Blue Christmas: Hope for the Hurting During the Holidays

The holiday season is here—twinkling lights, cheerful music, and the hustle and bustle of family gatherings. But for some of us, this time of year can feel heavy. Grief, loss, and loneliness may seem more intense against the backdrop of festive cheer.

I get it. The world seems to expect joy and togetherness, but what if you’re not feeling that way? Maybe you’re missing someone deeply, especially at Christmastime. For me, it’s my mom. I miss her more than words can express. For others, it might be the loss of a spouse, a close friend, a child, or even a dream. We all carry different burdens, but they often feel heavier when everyone around us is celebrating.

The Meaning Behind Blue Christmas: You might have heard the term "Blue Christmas" before. For many, it brings to mind the classic Elvis Presley song about missing someone during the holidays. For others, Blue Christmas has come to symbolize the grief and sorrow that can accompany this season.

I’ve attended churches that hold Blue Christmas services, especially on December 21, the winter solstice, the longest night of the year. These services provide a space to reflect on pain, be with those who aren’t feeling festive, and find comfort in God’s presence. It’s a thoughtful way to acknowledge that not everyone is celebrating in the same way. As Paul Tripp reminds us, “Grief is not something to be ashamed of, but something that God wants to meet us in with His grace and comfort.”

The Reality of Grief and Struggles: Grief doesn’t take a break for the holidays. It doesn’t wait for the New Year to show up. Whether you’ve lost a loved one, a relationship, or even just a sense of peace, this season can feel isolating. I know what it’s like to wish for one more conversation, one more hug, one more laugh with a loved one who’s no longer here. But here's something I want you to hold on to—God sees you. You are not forgotten. He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). 

And as Ed Welch reminds us, “Grief is the cry of the heart, and it will not be ignored. It must be acknowledged, and God must meet us in that place.”

God's Presence in the Pain: Even in the darkest moments, there is light. The Christmas story is all about God coming into our world to be with us—Jesus, Emmanuel, “God with us.” That is our hope! Jesus knows our pain. He understands sorrow because He experienced it Himself when His friend Lazarus died (John 11:35). He is the One who walks with us in our suffering, offering comfort and a hope that doesn’t disappoint.

Finding Joy in the Blue: This Christmas, even as I miss my mom and feel the ache of her absence, I’m choosing to embrace the hope and joy that comes with remembering who Jesus is. I know she’s with Him, and it’s my job to live a life that glorifies Him here. I’m doing my best to create special memories with my son and husband—making new traditions, welcoming family into our home after so many years, and laughing through the bittersweet moments.

The holidays may bring some tears, but they also bring joy, laughter, and the peace of knowing that Jesus is near—Emmanuel, God with us. There’s joy to be found even in the hard moments because of the promise of Christ's presence and love.

For those who are struggling, my heart is with you. It’s okay to miss. It’s okay to grieve. But take heart, because Christ is our source of joy. His name is Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6). Even in the midst of sorrow, He brings the joy of knowing we are loved, and that love never fades. How wonderful is that!

As you move through this season, may His peace fill your heart, and may you find moments of joy. He is the reason we have hope—even in the blue. I’m praying for you!